Community is the term that continuously repeats itself in most of my meetings with the Ancestors. It’s also one of the first things I sought out after my series of spiritual awakenings some years back that tried its hardest to take my power away from me. How can a spiritual community who prides itself on dismantling the masculine-leaning structures of Abrahamic religion fall victim to the same mentality it tries to separate itself from? This post is written solely from my past experiences to bring forth awareness and propose some thought-provoking questions about the matters at hand.
Is this a spiritual community or high school cliques?
I remember my first encounter with meeting a group of people under the guidance of a popular spiritualist from social media at a retreat they hosted. The energy was THICK. Lots of stares, glaring eyes, whispers, and separation to the point I knew I didn’t belong but shit, I paid a lot of money to be here so let me focus on getting out of this experience what I paid for. Mind you, these were GROWN ASS WOMEN. Like ‘hello-Barbara,-this-is-Shirley’ GROWN, with a sprinkle of some around my age or younger. The scene and energy was all too familiar when I recall the same exact energy being present in the churches I attended. Gossip, messiness, pettiness. The type of people who would shout and carry on every Sunday from 10:30am-1:00pm, then remove it promptly at 1:01pm like it was a coat to be hung in a closet and put on for show. Not the energy I want around when I am at my most vulnerable as a ‘beginner’ who simply wanted nothing more than to learn how to heal and get a handle on my spiritual gifts. How can I trust this community who gives off the same vibes of the ‘sacred’ spaces I left from?
At that time, I knew the religious practices I grew up in served their purpose in my life up to that point. My soul kept reminding me that there’s more to who I am beyond how I was raised and I’m grateful for all it taught me. So I didn’t come into this as a ‘butt-hurt’ Christian who chose another spiritual path because my feelings were hurt. It was deeper than that. I was just under the assumption that ‘like-minded’ people who also looked like me would carry themselves differently. After all our ancestors went through? Come on, now.
Looking back, I feel like Spirit showed me this and put me in these spaces to remind me that everyone doesn’t see things the way I do, or are held accountable by the same moral compass as me no matter what their spiritual practices are. People will be people. Just like they’ve always been since my ancestors were alive in this realm. Even as a youngin’, my discernment about people have always been on point, but somewhere down the line I stopped trusting myself, believing others knew better than me because I was so young. I take my spiritual practices and my healing very serious. Never been a fan of bringing in drama or pettiness into any of my sacred spaces, including my social media. I’m a huge fan of drinking my water and minding my business.
I have been through some very dark times coming into my spiritual practices to the point where I felt close to making some permanent decisions that would’ve led to me no longer existing. I was so depressed, hurt, and sad all the time. I had no time worrying with what other people were doing because I was fighting spiritual attacks like nobody’s business. I remember a many of days putting on my best masks at work so no one would ask me if I was ok because anytime anyone would ask me that I would burst into tears. The dreams/downloads were overwhelming, I wasn’t getting any support from this ‘community’ I invested so much of my resources into. I would talk to them about what I was going through and received little to nothing in return.
It took some time once I blocked and separated myself from every person in that community for the light to finally come back into me (or for me to realize it never left). From then on, I’ve been very cautious about being part of ‘spiritual communities’ because the one I left did nothing but try and take my power from me and work me to no end. But nonetheless, I was getting my life back.
So now when the Ancestors remind me of the importance of community and how its needed at this point in time, I’m always reminded of the ‘community’ I was once part of. Very much aware and an active participant in healing those wounds and the shadows rooted in my past of neglecting myself for the sake of acceptance. I know that played a huge role in me staying and not trusting myself enough to know that that place wasn’t where I was supposed to be. The shadows you may try and run from in your regular life will come up in the spiritual…because EVERYTHING is spiritual.
I’ll end this on a…realer note. Spirituality doesn’t change people. It makes them more of who they already are. Doesn’t matter if they’re in the pews every time the church doors swing open, or they’re working at the crossroads. The same exploitation of Christianity for personal gain, or harming others in the name of their ‘god’ is the same thing you’ll see on the other sides. Everything isn’t always black and white, right or wrong. If you’re someone who seeks spiritual community, go to your Ancestors first. Feel like some shit ain’t right? Keep it pushing. Knowing who you are and your shadows is crucial before becoming part of any community, or you leave yourself vulnerable to humans with human intentions to do as they please. They’re not all bad like the one I started in. Trust that the more you become self-aware and mindful of who you are, the more aligned you become, and your spiritual community will follow suit. Peace to you, & Asè to the Ancestors!
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